The Adequate Caregiver

Sunday, March 14, 2010 1:55 PM, CDT

Scott has another set of scans looming in about 10 days. Until then he has been preparing himself for his anticipated return to work in April: physically, emotionally, sartorially and gastronomically.
It occurred to him that it wouldn’t make a hugely positive impression if he were to show up to his first meeting with a box of Cheerios, and possibly excuse himself half way through to take a brief nap. So, I sent an email to the person who, if Jews were to have Guardian Angels, he would be ours: Bill Sperling. I told Bill that as a Columbia Law School grad, Scott had picked up some mean alphabetizing skills along the way, and was open to any kind of short-term volunteer gig that wouldn’t expose him to wheezing and sneezing people. By 10:30 the next morning Scott had lined up a couple hours of shelving books in Maya’s school library followed by a short-term project at Children’s Hospital, thanks to Bill, who seems not to have read all the way to the end of the email about not wanting to be around sneezing and wheezing, but it has all worked out in the end.

Both places offer unlimited access to Purell and the Children’s office he is working in is across the street from the main campus, but does contain the day care facility – pretty much a large scale Petri dish -- but we try not to think about that fact.

Scott’s trial re-entry into the structured world of work is mostly going well. He is much more exhausted than he expected, having a hard time figuring out what he can eat, but happy to be around other people and even happier at the prospect of soon being back at his real job. Not that alphabetizing hasn’t been a good transitional step, he doesn’t see it as a long-term fulfilling activity.

The last couple of days presented a new challenge when he ran out of one drug and took a substitute (one that the doctor had previously provided as an option) but then suddenly became too foggy and tired to figure out what might be the cause of the fogginess and exhaustion. After about 36 hours and my insistence he talked to his doctor, who figured out the problem. The solution has been another 36 hours on the couch.

He seems to be coming out of his fog and just in time for our family trip to Legally Blond at the 5th Avenue Theater. We realize that this isn’t exactly high art. In fact, some don’t even consider it art or even theater, except that it does take place on a stage and the three of us are all looking forward to a couple hours of lighthearted, mindless entertainment.

Coinciding with Scott’s scans, I have a trip scheduled to the Bay Area for work. So, I will be flying into the same airport Scott’s sister will be flying out of just a few hours later, to keep Scott and Maya company through a couple of days of unpleasant pre-scan “bowel prep” (the “nuclear laxative” experience, which Dave Barry described in vivid hysterical detail much better and more honestly than Scott would ever allow: http://www.miamiherald.com/2009/02/11/427603/dave-barry-a-journey-into-my-colon.html) followed by a 2 day scan-a-palooza.

We are thankful that Liz has the flexibility to step in and hope she knows what fun she is in for (in other words, that she hasn’t yet read the Dave Barry column).

If I happen to enjoy a fabulous meal in San Francisco while I am there, I have promised to keep that fact to myself. The story line is that it is all work and no play.